Let men tremble to win the hand of woman, unless they win along with it the utmost passion of her heart! Else it may be their miserable fortune, when some mightier touch than their own may have awakened all her sensibilities, to be reproached even for the calm content, the marble image of happiness, which they will have imposed upon her as the warm reality. ~Nathaniel Hawthorne,
The Scarlet Letter
I must first acknowledge a dear friend first... because I did find this quote in The Scarlet Letter... I wish I could remember the exact words in which he (Matt) described me as, "Megan is no Hester Prynne (yes, I had to use Google) she would drag everyone down with her."The Scarlet Letter
HELL YES I WOULD!! I read the Scarlet Letter and thought... "WHAT WAS SHE THINKING CARRYING ALL THAT ON HER OWN WHEN IT TOOK TWO TO BE IN THE POSITION SHE WAS!!" She carried that adulterous (meaning adulterous against the church) minister with his secret to his grave... SHE DID. SHE SACRFICED HER HER SHE. SHE. SHE. ALONE.
Anyways...that wasn't my original point. Why I chose that quote is because I looked up quotes on passion. Does passion not drive us all? (I feel so "old English") As we grow older do we not recognize what drive us...and is it not passion that drive us? I have found what I do love (see past post)... I love passion. I love drama. No. No. NO... Not the drama that is futile and ridiculous but the passion behind it all. I love when people are driven by something deeper than themselves that they are willing to "stick they're head on the line" disregarding the "public" disapproval they may suffer. Do they consider it suffering? No. They, who freely without worry, recognize that it is a privilege that they are allowed to express they're opinions or whatever they may want. I wish so much that I had their passion. Sure I displace my initial internal reaction of "acute" anxiety with humor but I do wish I had the strength that I have seen/read in the notes/blogs of my friends that I wish to post my feelings, and even my "dorky" humor on respective "social networks." Am I stuck in an unending demise of a popularity contest? No. I refuse. I really truly with all my heart (as over dramatically as I can express via a computer) will not worry. ...or will TRY not too.
...okay have to finish this later... a tad bit too much Chardonnay...
3 comments:
Hey Megan, your chardonnay is showing! Just kidding honey :)
First, was it Matt Nabers who said you were no Hester Pryne?
Second, Hester got fucked in more ways than one. I guess that means that I am no Hester Pryne either. It takes two to tango, and it'll be a cold day in hell when I where a scarlet letter without my baby daddy wearing one too. I think I told Beverly Lunsford that.
Third, the timing of this post is so odd. Matt, Lex and I were just talking last night about passion and how it behind most motivation. I have always been passionate about everything, and I think I know why, and maybe I will get into that later in a blog of my own. Being a passionate person is a blessing and a curse. People always know how you feel, but at the same time, people always know how you feel. LOL. That probably makes no sense, but what I mean is, I put my ass on the line sometimes even when I don't really want to and it's usually passion-driven. Sometimes it causes me to make an ass out of myself. I think it's partially a taurus thing, so I bet you have it in you too. It's good to let people know what you think, but at the same time, it sucks to always be the bitch in the room. I'm nice, damnit! I have battled this issue all of my life. People hear my voice but don't see my heart. A lot of times, my point is missed and I end up being labelled as a bitch because I won't shut up.
Sometimes I am just a bitch. I know that. But most of the time, I wouldn't be such a bitch if I didn't feel it was extremely necissary (I have never been able to spell that word) to be heard. OK thats the end of my rant :)
I wish I could have been a part of that discussion- you guys are so much fun! Maybe it is our astrological destiny (not sure how I really feel about the whole astrology thing but it does make you think) as Taurus's to be passionate. I too am an extremely passionate person which I feel is sometimes mistaken for being "emotional". Which I am. I will admit I am emotional, and more often times than not it is looked at negatively. I think emotion and passion are two different things, but not mutually exclusive. So, I completely understand what you meant by saying "People always know how you feel, but at the same time, people always know how you feel." What I'm trying to do (and actually for once in my life am giving it 100% effort) is learn to be happy with who I am. I am trying to learn to be okay that I like somethings that others might not or that I feel one way and it might not be the same as you. I am passionate. (which drives some people crazy because I do get worked up and intense about "little" things). I am emotional. (which to me, it means I lead with my heart...and yes, sometimes it causes tears or intense rage). That is me. I am working so hard to accept those qualities about myself (which without going into too much detail have & still do cause some health issues for me) I have enjoyed so much getting to know our classmates again via Facebook (or MySpace) and finding out who they REALLY are and what amazing, intelligent, HILARIOUS, and non-judgemental people I have the privilege of learning from!
...oh yes, I also have received a "bitch" label... I share your same feelings that there are times when it is necessary... it PASSIONATELY gets my point across! :-)
Megan, You will never be as happy as you will be when you accept yourself and all the good and bad shit that is in you. I am really glad to hear that you are working on that! I too lead my life with my heart and get "worked up" in one way, shape or form, pretty often. All I know to say is it really is true that "the poeple who matter won't care, and the people who care don't matter." Remember that! Anyone who doesn't like you as you are is not worth your time.
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